Year 29, Time to Analyze Life
 |
| Arcosanti |
I didn't have that problem before I started with this new job. I had so much time to do what I wanted and also work, I do miss interpreting. Being and engineering planner is exciting, don't get me wrong. If you know me, than you know that I love learning. Coming from an engineering, math, science high school, I had decided to never return to those fields. Change in circumstance had me looking for a consistent full time job, and this is what found me. I love learning about metal and the forging processes that come with it. I've learned formulas and now can actually notice when something is aryhe, not always. I love proving myself to myself. I have to dominate when it comes to work. I guess I can say that work is good. It stresses me out and sometimes I almost tear up, but he every job comes with its good and bad.
I've been trying to spend more time alone. Honestly, I'm so used to being around people and friends that being alone anywhere would freak me out. This year, I want to do more things on my own. I've driven out to Arizona to visit friends twice already; that drive is exactly what I've needed. Both Andy and Josh on Fridays, that means more me time. The first visit, I explored Phoenix itself: bookstores, restaurants, the botanical gardens. This last time I drove out to Arcosanti. It was a very different experience, but I was able to take in the architecture, the land, and the sun.
This past year has forced me to grow up even more. My Peter Pan Syndrome is probably at the level of most men, so taking on certain responsibilities hasn't been something I've done gracefully. I think the hardest thing has been looking at my faults and shortcomings, acknowledging them, and trying to correct them. I'm aware of the influences of everyone, past or present, in my life. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all connected and we all have the power to influence each other. At times we are positive influences that merit to be imitated. Other times we wish people turn the other way instead looking to us. I've struggled with the latter a lot these past few months. I know in the end, I will grow from my mistakes, but I really wish I had a remote for life, just hit reverse and make better choices.
Through the struggles, I've been able to see who are my true friends. They're the ones that are extra eager for your 6 hour drive to finally see you, they're the ones that always text you to come over and make sure their kids call you "tía," they're the ones that put up with your horrid attitudes because they know you feel like you've hit rock bottom, they're the ones that always text your "Buttons" good morning and goodnight.
To the one that I will always wait for, I miss you. Not a day goes by that I do not think of you, wait for your text ringtone to play. I've lost a part of me, and despite your anger, know that everyday without you, hurts. We are so alike, but I'd keep you in check, and you'd do the same for me. I am homesick for you.
A third of the new year has already passed, but I still look forward to more trips, more road trips, and of course, more concerts.
This past year has forced me to grow up even more. My Peter Pan Syndrome is probably at the level of most men, so taking on certain responsibilities hasn't been something I've done gracefully. I think the hardest thing has been looking at my faults and shortcomings, acknowledging them, and trying to correct them. I'm aware of the influences of everyone, past or present, in my life. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all connected and we all have the power to influence each other. At times we are positive influences that merit to be imitated. Other times we wish people turn the other way instead looking to us. I've struggled with the latter a lot these past few months. I know in the end, I will grow from my mistakes, but I really wish I had a remote for life, just hit reverse and make better choices.
Through the struggles, I've been able to see who are my true friends. They're the ones that are extra eager for your 6 hour drive to finally see you, they're the ones that always text you to come over and make sure their kids call you "tía," they're the ones that put up with your horrid attitudes because they know you feel like you've hit rock bottom, they're the ones that always text your "Buttons" good morning and goodnight.
To the one that I will always wait for, I miss you. Not a day goes by that I do not think of you, wait for your text ringtone to play. I've lost a part of me, and despite your anger, know that everyday without you, hurts. We are so alike, but I'd keep you in check, and you'd do the same for me. I am homesick for you.
A third of the new year has already passed, but I still look forward to more trips, more road trips, and of course, more concerts.
Comments
Post a Comment