Anxiety... the person that lives in the future looking for a danger that isn't real feels anxiety. 

Future, you never know what will happen. I don't consider myself an anxious person; that is not until lately have I felt minor signs of anxiety. Uncertainty on promises you've made, not on your behalf but the reciprocation of another person. You can control yourself now, and whatever "now" moment you are in, you are in charge. 

"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." - George Orwell (1984). 
Makes perfect sense. Once you control the now, the past doesn't haunt you; it doesn't wrap its grip around you like a trap causing depression (the depressed lives fixated on the past). Once you've learned to overcome the past and learn from it; the future will be faced with a better mindset, better feelings, and better actions. 

I made a choice that I think and feel correct; to me. But what if it's not the right choice for you? The "IF" is the underlying problem. I keep moving forward trying not to think of where forward will lead me. I keep moving forward hoping I'll get "there." I control MY now; not his now, not her now, not our now... if I can give myself the authority to use "our." Just MINE. 

"Mine"... one of the first utterances from our babe mouths. We were taught that "mine" was selfish, "mine" wasn't right. And when you decide to share something and make it "ours," what then? What if that person decides they rather it be "yours" and never "ours." What now? Now sharing isn't right? Now sharing becomes a frightful idea because of someone else. 

But then you remember, if you make someone else's opinion more important than yourself's; what you wanted to share never was important. It couldn't be important because you're letting others belittle it. So, yes, you control the present. You can share because "it" belongs to you, it is in your possession. 

Rainy day ramblings. 


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