"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau
Dreams... I'm quite a dreamer. The world I have created for myself is composed of nostalgic items. The past is a magical world that oozes of wisdom for me. It captures innocence and vanity that overall displays bliss. Of course, I am aware that people in the past had problems and issues like we do, but the difference is that their issues have passed. Ours are before us, and the future is something I now know that I have also imagined with a veil of nostalgia.
I don't say that in the sense that I believe I wouldn't have problems, no not at all. The idea I have for my future is realistic, with attainable goals. The issue is that I never thought of the process to getting there. The false identification of what "hard work" work is has revealed itself before me.
Work, love, life... they're all choices. Choices of the good, the bad, and the ambiguous. Taking a leap in a new career is fun, something I'm willing to venture on. I don't live to work, but I enjoy work. I strive to be the best in any career, yet I am balanced.
Love... that's a completely different aspect. The heart is traitorous. I don't trust my own judgement in this aspect, my own judgement has led me down the wrong paths. I'm just grateful I didn't continue down them. My idea of a partner has been balanced, now... at the point of finding someone that embodies what you've wanted, well it can be frightening. It's finally real, and it's finally in front of you... do you dare reach for it?
If that weren't such a huge decision, one more curveball is thrown. Dreams of live opportunities: schools and moving away. Two much awaited things. Yesterday I got huge news, a new school program opened up. Something I've wanted to do since I was 18. At the end of the program, I'd be relocated. Why did this come into play right when you think you found someone you want to be with? What if we'd go together?
I keep thinking about what Confucius said, "Life is really simple, but we insist in making it complicated." I guess I'm over thinking everything. I need to put things in their rightful place. My goals need to come first: the new school and that means moving. I just wish I wouldn't do it alone. I'd be doing something I love. But now, now I'm aware that I'll be far from my friends and the city I love. It will be tough, but the life I've imagined has arrived. I can't ignore it, I can't be an ingrate and reject what I've begged for my whole life.